New Beginnings

well, here I am again - I know that it has been a while since I have last posted but I miss this opportunity to write and I miss sharing.  I will fill you in on the past 4 years...give or take...  I am looking forward to it -

Dreams...

Lately it has become clearer that dreams are important. I think this has come more into the spotlight as a member of my high school graduating class has also come into the spotlight.

I was up in Blacksburg, VA for a graduate student conference this weekend. My parents drove down from NY to visit the rest of my state-side family in VA, and come and see me. My mother brought with her a number of newspaper clippings featuring my friend, Ryan Vanderhoof, whose Brooklyn-based band has received some notoriety lately on David Letterman, and in the pages of Rolling Stone Magazine.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akron/Family

I see his face in those pictures and remember standing beside him in chorus singing, performing beside him on the stage, and being in a select group with him who played one instrument in band and another instrument in jazz band. He arranged a song that the select chorus sang at our graduation ceremony. We were on the track team together for at least one season. And I think of him doing exactly what he has always wanted to do…play and share his music… I am so proud of him!

And so I look to my own dreams and aspirations. This conference helped me to do that.
It was a gathering of grad students practicing collegiality, practicing their presenting skills and trying out there ideas on people whom they only meet once a year. It was energizing!! I presented my thesis, and in the questions that were asked I remembered that I probably didn’t have to look too much further than the shortcomings of that project to see what more needed to be done in researching trust! I presented a roundtable session to hear how other departments were assessing student learning and got ideas about how to improve our own department. It’s not so much about learning new things as it is about taking what you already know and tweaking it just that much, just enough to make the old new again.

My dream is to be a professor somewhere and teach in a classroom and talk to college students and learn what they care about. I dream about having an office that I can decorate with wood paneling and wall hangings and talk about the important things in life…those things that are not discovered by research but in your own heart.

The journey to my dream has not been an easy one…and Ryan’s wasn’t easy either.
But I’m glad that I got to share in his dream in high school.
And there are so many that have shared in my dream as well.
Thanks…

OK

So I didn't realize that my last post was at the end of October. The end of October!?
What was I thinking?!
Thanks to David for encouraging me to get my butt in gear and post something - Also, thanks Naomi for bringing it up a month ago. Roommates seem to get better results though.

Quick recap of the past 2 months:
Thanksgiving in VA with my parents, sister, her husband and their 2 kids (tons of fun!!)
The end of the last semester that I will be taking 2 3-credit hour courses (a lot of work)
Graduation with my Master's (Dec. 15 - the graduation of about 1,400 people took longer than I anticipated)
Road trip with my parents who attended graduation closely followed graduation (I haven't spent that much time with my parents in a car in a long time - it was good)
Time at home in NY (No snow, more time with my niece and nephew)
I took my sister and my niece and nephew back to VA at the end of December (more fun)
The beginning of January I was at the Passion Conference in ATL (in one word: amazing)

Lately, I have been getting back in the school groove, and having the MLK Jr. holiday helped. I took the opportunity to start more Bible study than reading books about the Bible. This has always been encouraging because I have a great word study that taps the original Greek - the original Greek meanings behind the English words will blow your mind!!

I have resumed my study of 1 John, starting again at chapter 4, but here is a passage from chapter 3 as it was translated in my word study. The translation is not paraphrased, so it keeps the word order of the Greek. This means that it helps to imagine this passage the Yoda would say it:

1 John 3: 1-

Behold, what exotic [foreign to the human heart] love the Father has permanently bestowed upon us, to the end that we may be named children [born ones] of God. And we are. On this account the world does not have an experiential knowledge of us, becuase it has not come into an experiential knowledge of Him. Divinely loved ones, now born-ones of God we are. And not yet has it been made visible what we shall be. We know absolutely that whenever it is made visible, like ones to Him we shall be, because we shall see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope continually set on Him is constantly purifying himself just as that One is pure.

v. 4 - Everyone who habitually commits sin, also commits lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness. And you know absolutely that that One was manifested in order that He might take away our sins; and sin in Him does not exist. Everyone who in Him is constantly abiding is not habitually sinning. Everyone who is constantly sinning has not with discernment seen Him, nor has he known Him, with the result that that condition is true of him at present. Little born-ones, stop allowing anyone to be leading you astray. The one who habitually does righteousness is righteous, just as that One is righteous. The one who is habitually committing sin is out of the devil as a source, because from the beginning the devil has been sinning. For this purpose there was manifested the Son of God, in order that He might bring to naught the works of the devil (v. 8).

Most tranlations say, how great is manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God - But it is more than that; it is a foreign love. As you continue to read 1 John 3 and 4 you see that this is the same kind of love that we are to show to fellow Christ followers and even people of the world - this foreign kind of love; a love that is self-giving, agape love. But the world doesn't understand this love because it is foreign...they don't know what to do with it, so they discount it or marginalize those who show it...
What if the American Christian Church started showing love as the Father has shown us, this foreign love that He bestowed on us that we are His Children ---what if...

A lot

A lot has been going on in these last few weeks.
October has been a very busy month, and we are only half-way through, which is hard for me to beleive. The month started off with a quick trip to homecoming at Cedarville University. At my alma mater I visited with several friends that I have not seen in too long.
Upon my return to Auburn I prepared to defend my thesis on Wednesday (which I passed), and lead the discussion in the Adolescents I am taking on Thursday. That was a crazy week! But upon the completion of the week, I got to hang out with two friends who will be moving to Oregon soon. And on Saturday I went to Atlanta to see a musical called "The Light in the Piazza," which was beautiful.

Basically, the last two weeks have been a combination of ups and downs, but mostly ups.
It seems that I have been averaging about two posts a month, which is not an accurate indicator of all that is going on. I hope to share a bit more, but there is one experience from my trip to Ohio that I want to remember and treasure:
I had a late start on Thursday so I traveled late into the night. During one stop at a gas station I went into the store to get some water. As I was waiting to pay the attendant behind the register was very cheerful and pleasant to each of the people that passed through. A couple of ladies who were in line behind me were saying, "she's starting out the shift like this, let's see if she's the same at 5:00 in the morning." The attendant replied, "This is my shift, and the I want to use it to share all that the Lord has done for me."

Lord, grant me, grant us all the courage to declare, "This is my shift, this is my time, and I am going to use it to share God's love and glory with those who come across my path."

Autumn Again

It's Autumn again. You wouldn't know it from the trees. But I know it is because the shadows grow longer earlier in the afternoon, and the air is a lot cooler for more of the day.
I love Autumn. Those of you who have read this blog for the past year have probably figured that out. I have been thinking about posting about Autumn for a while but only now found the time.

One morning as I was walking to campus I thought about why I love autumn so much.
I remembered high school soccer games, the smell of fresh cut grass, and the chill of the air running across the field.
I remembered the dreary cloudy days in New York and Ohio where all you wanted to do was stay at home in your pjs and watch the rain come down, or football on tv.
I remembered several Autumns during which I found myself in a new place.
Fall of my junior year I was at Cedarville, followed by Focus on the Family Institute in Colorado, then Beijing, China, and then my most recent stop, Auburn, Alabama. Each Autumn holds the seeds of new beginnings.

I think when most people think of Autumn, they think of things dying. The leaves change color, and die and fall leaving trees barren. Crops die, which is why we harvest. But even in that there is hope. Even Jesus said of his own death, "Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

I think Autumn is most special to me because it is evidence that even when things change, they are renewed. It is a reminder of many special things in my life, having planted seeds, they may now come to fruition. It is a reminder that though there is death, life remains victorious.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...

Sometimes I feel like my life is made up of several lives.
It seems like a lifetime since I was in college and yet my graduating class is only celebrating our fifth anniversary since graduating. And yet it was four years ago that I returned from China.

I think I just miss all the different activities that I participated in during college.
I was a musician once. I still am in many ways. Much like many people don't realize that I am actually from New York state, they may not realize that I earned a music minor in college.
I give small clues to my musical abilities though - if you listen closely enough; whether it's harmonizing with choruses we're singing, or anticipating the next chord in the bridge of the song that's being played.

In college I was a member of the Brass Choir and played the trombone, and I was in the symphonic band and played the french horn. Both instruments now sit in my room suffering from neglect. I also sing, and did so in college more regularly.
It was in my Freshman year of college that I began to understand more about what worship in song meant, and then later how worship also involved surrender.

There was a singing group that just began my freshman year at Cedarville. It was called Jubilate and it was described as a worship team, but it was composed of some 70 voices, which is a large singing group by any stretch of the imagination. But we sang praises to God and thanked him for all the ways that He had been faithful in our lives. For example, during one performance for the Cedarville chapel time a number of us were invited to tell of the things for which we were most thankful. I was most thankful that my grandmother, who had been suffering from pancreatic cancer, had been ushered into eternity and was enjoying that life free from the earthly body. Such was the worship and praise of this group...to encourage an eternal view of life.
We also had the chance to accompany a Christian vocalist named Steve Camp.
It was this experience that has caused me to think the most on that spring of my freshman year.
The title of the album that he was then promoting was "Mercy in the Wilderness."
It instantly endeered itself to my heart in a number of ways, but mostly in the sixth track of that CD: Wonderful, Merciful Savior.

Wonderful, Merciful Savior, precious redeemer and friend,
who would have thought that a lamb could rescue the souls of men, oh, you rescue the souls of men.

Counselor, comforter, keeper, Spirit we long to embrace. You offer hope when our hearts have hopelessly lost the way. Oh we hopelessly lost the way.

You are the One that we praise, You are the One we adore. You give the healing and grace our hearts always hunger for.

Almighty, Infinite Father, faithfully loving Your own. Here in our weakness you find us.
Falling before Your throne, oh, we're falling before Your throne.

I think that may be why I am so disappointed when our worship meetings focus on a handful of songs: because the songs that mean the most to me are not the ones that are new, but they are the ones that communicate the most to God from my heart. And communicate the most between God's heart and my own.

I guess the main point for these recollections was as a vehicle for sharing those song lyrics,
but to also express the pilgrimmage. I am not what I once was, and yet that person was the starting point for who I am now. And He has been with me the whole way.
Praise Him for His faithfulness!

Whiter than Snow

I was attending the Thursday night worship service called Encounter, when I heard it.
The speaker mentioned the phrase, "White than snow." He used it in the typical context
of Jesus' blood washing our sins away so we are "whiter than snow", or without blemish
when we approach our God. I've sung it and said it many times, but this time I sat on it,
and thought about it.

I remembered the mornings in Central New York when you went outside after it has snowed
the night before. Nothing had disturbed the snow yet; no stray dogs; no sledders.
The white snow was pristine like millions of diamonds on the ground.

Then I remembered the series the Louie Giglio presented at 722 in Atlanta this summer.
One of the things he talked about was shining so people would know that you were marked by
Christ. When you go outside after a snow storm and the snow is new, and the sky is clear and the sun shines off the snow it is blinding. The glare is so bad that sometimes sunglasses are needed.

Think of it. Our sin is washed away and we are white as snow if we believe that Jesus' sacrifice was the sufficient sacrifice to pay for our sins. So white that you would appear to be glowing.
So white that you can reflect the light of the Son.