Day dreaming…or just dreaming

I went to China today…

I was reading a chapter (for my job) about how an English professor was putting together a teaching portfolio to evaluate his teaching and he realized that he neglected to assess student improvement in writing. As I sat reading his account of this realization a rush of memories came at me from my mind’s eye…memories of teaching in Beijing.

I remembered conferencing with students about their writing, coaching them about decisions they made and could make – I remembered their smiling faces and their laughter.

I remembered the old printer that our group leader had that allowed us to print copies that were compatible with the duplicating machine like the one my elementary school teachers used with purple ink. I wondered if the teachers now still used that process or if they have a better system now.

I remembered autumn in Beijing, yellow leaves, a chill in the air, rain on the Great Wall, and dirty streets. The smell of the air. The warm sun.

When I close my eyes I can see it all and I’m there again.

Lord, grant the day when it doesn’t matter if my eyes are open or closed.

Which side is the stern?

I was walking home from campus today, and I was thinking, “God, do you love me?” and, “Do you care?” And my mind wandered to another time when the same question was asked, “Don’t you care?”

In the book of Mark, chapter 4, verses 35 to 41, there is the story about a time when Jesus had finished talking to the crowds and had retired to a boat to cross to the other side of the lake. Suddenly a great storm arose and waves were breaking over the boat so it was almost swamped. Jesus was in a corner of the boat sleeping through all the waves and rocking back and forth. The disciples went to Jesus, awoke Jesus and asked him, “Don’t you care if we drown?”

The boat was taking on water, the disciples saw no hope of rescue anywhere…death was a forgone conclusion. And these weren’t just pleasure boaters either…most of these men were fishermen. They had seen storms, they had been in storms, but this was a doozy! This was the mother of all storms!

Yet, the disciples had seen a demon possessed man restored, a man with leprosy who was made clean, and a paralytic man get up and walk. What was it about the storm that made them sure they were going to die? I don’t know, but how many times are we buffeted by hard times…circumstances not going as we had expected or wanted; disappointments around every corner. It’s storming on your parade. You cry out to God, “Don’t you care that I’m struggling?” “Why don’t you do something about it?”

What if Jesus hadn’t calmed the storm that night? What if Jesus had just let the boat sink and they were all left to swim to shore? Or would they have walked to shore?

Anyway, Jesus told the wind and waves to be still, and they obeyed. And yet we struggle when Jesus asks us the same thing… “Be still and know that I am God…Be not anxious for anything…”

There’s a song in which one of the lines of the chorus says, “Sometimes He calms the storm and sometimes He calms His child.” Take courage brave heart! Maybe you are enduring storms so you can see the wondrous work of a God who hears, and listens and answers. Maybe He is stretching you to see just how water logged you can get before you just want to give up.

Child of God, He does care, though you may not see. Maybe he just wants you to pull up another cushion in the stern of your ship and lay your head on His chest and rest.